Vandalism and Christmas Carols

 Lights in the Parkway

Ah yes, the timeless Christmas tradition: vandalizing a holiday display.


Truly the work of a master.

Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel, these hoodlums have… broken lights and smashed displays that will cost the taxpayers plenty to repair.

Hope it felt empowering—really sticking it to some decorations that were just minding their own business.
Nothing screams “I’m thriving” like wrecking something meant to make people smile.

I do recall that Mayor Tuerk wanted to cancel the Lights in the Parkway last year. But I dont think this was his idea of how to do it.  

https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/lights-out-in-the-parkway-tuerk-says-it-s-possible-without-property-tax-increase/article_1b802a54-7e6d-11ee-91fa-036bd8f3c370.html

The one nice thing in Allentown during Christmas that doesnt make any money. Now everyone will have to go to Coca Cola Park or Bethlehem-the actual Christmas City- for festive cheer instead of crime this year. Good thing Matt Tuerk and Chief Roca are working diligently on bringing crime down.

I think I found some of the lights.

I have been laughing at this all day.

Enough of that.

I am offering three songs to be sung and heard all throughout City Hall and the city. So please sing these updated carols aloud wherever you are at. I hope they stick in your head all day!!

Funny, I heard the original Rudolph song and started singing my version. You will too!!

1. Most wonderful time of the year

It's the most wonderful time of the year

With the mayor expelling 

And his budget be telling you be kicked in the rear

It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's the hap-happiest season of all

With those fake ass greetings and gay happy meetings

Matt has no friends to call

It's the hap-happiest season of all

There'll be blogs for posting

And comments for roasting

And Tuerk out on the backhoe

There'll be scary ghost stories

And tales of the corruption of

Budgets long, long ago

It's the most wonderful time of the year

There'll be much ass kissing

And further SEIU dissing

When the mayor is near

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Merry Christmas! Menorah’s for all!!

2. The 12 days of Allentown (the abridged version)

On the 12th day of Allentown

My evil mayor gave to me

Twelve lawsuits pending 

Eleven lies a-spinning

Ten cronies hired

Nine NDA's a given

Eight Cabinet raises

Seven hidden Curtis files

Six camps a bulldozing

Five construction bribes

Four ghost employees

Three Ass kissing council members

Two unethical lawyers  

And a 

Slogan about fairness and transparency 

3. Tuerk the Red Nosed Reindeer

You know Hendricks and Roca 

And Glazier and Affa....

Boyer and Patel 

Shahda and Kistler

.....But do you recall

The most unliked public official of all?

Tuerky the Red-Nosed mayor

Had a very shiny nose

And if you ever saw him

You would know he has no Amigos

All of the other mayor's

Still laugh and call him names

They never let poor Tuerky

Join in any ethical games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Abe came to say

TUERKY, with your nose so bright

Won't you bankrupt the city tonight?"

Then how the politicians made fun of him

As they shouted out Pee Wee

Tuerky the red nosed Mayor

You'll go down as the worst mayor in history

You'll go down as the worst mayor in history!

4. Frosty

Tuerky the snowman is a small and vindictive soul

Rides a dumb ass bike, and wears dumb ass shoes

And has two eyes made out of coal

Tuerky the snowman is not a fairy tale they say

He drove a backhoe

and the homeless know how he drove thru their camp one day

There must have been some black magic 

In that old jock strap they found

For when they placed it on his head

He turned into a circus clown

Tuerky the snowman 

Was as weird as he could be

And the citizens say he should fly away

Just like a dirty flea 

Tuerky the snowman knew the deficit was high that day

So he told Hendricks to pull off some tricks 

Before his term expires away

Down to city hall with a pride flag in his hand

Biking here and there all around the square

Saying "the FBI can catch me if they can"

He led them down the streets of ole Allentown

Right to his obedient chief cop

And he only paused a moment when

He heard Trump and Vance were planning an Allentown stop

Tuerky the snowman had to hurry on his way

Because the FBI showed up saying don’t you cry

The Curtis report will be out one day

Until this administration learns to be transparent, fair, honest, and show they care, I will continue to report the truth.  

Shitter must be Full

Merry Christmas, everyone. God Bless.

Abe